Live!....From The Lake County Corectional Facility!

By RM
For those of you who didn't hear, I spent yesterday in the Lake County, Ohio Correctional Facility. This was over some confusion over my license and whether or not it was suspended (OH says yea, FL nay), and I was out by dinner, however, I was in Jail long enough to pass along a few kernels of wisdom along to you, so here they are:

The PMRM's Top 10 Things You DIDN'T know about Ohio County Jail:
10.) The Food is of a higher quality than your school lunches in HS. The trays were nicer as well.
9.) Once prominent Carnegie Mellon professors who got addicted to Cocaine are around every corner.
8.) The Uniforms more closely resemble scrubs than jail cosutmery.
7.) For making your bed, instead of a fitted sheet for the bottom, you are given a giant pillowcase that fits our mattress, speeding up the process of making your bed immensely.
6.) They have premium cable.
5.) Of the 13 men in my cell block with me, 9 had completed at least two years of college education.
4.) The give you free Coffee and Kool-Aid. Whenever you want it.
3.) After the initial "Why're you here?", most people keep their problems to theirselves.
2.) According to the felows in the Maximum block a few floors up, I have a very pretty mouth. One even knew that it I had a "cupid's bow" upper lip.
1.) Convicts love.....and I mean LOVE....Will and Grace. We watched five episodes start to finish.

I hope you learned as much as I did.

RM
 

2 comments so far.

  1. The Project December 12, 2007 at 8:11 PM
    Ryan--will you be in Gambier (and out of prison) this weekend?
    I'll be in town saturday morning-sunday night.

    Hit me up.
  2. Traveler72 December 24, 2007 at 8:52 AM
    Ryan, I don't want to see you in prison or anything, but the idea of you in a classic Prisoner Costume, like the one with black and white stripes, maybe even holding a big sack with a dollar sign on it, for some reason strikes me as oddly funny.

    And I saw Enchanted. And agree with everything you said a few entries back.

    Merry Christmas!

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