-The Express lane? the one that says 12 items or less? That is not a polite reference, like a restaurant you should really try. Like, seriously. They make the best soup. No, it's a goddamn system. You only go through that line if you have 12 ITEMS OR LESS. If you have 13, and there's no line, then fine, we can take you through. But 26 is not 12. Unless you're a theoretical mathematician of unprecedented ability, and forgive me for assuming you're not.
-Wait until the person before you is done before you start throwing coupons and super-saver cards at the cashier. Yes, you're in a hurry. We know.
-If this is your first time in America over the past five years, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on your inability to know how credit cards work. If it isn't, than what the hell?
-The super-saver card can go on a key-chain. It should be ON YOUR KEYCHAIN. Don't tell me you left it in the car. If you did, you'd be more worried than you are. Just confess you haven't spent the two seconds it takes to get a card and want to use the supermarket's courtesy card. Own your shame.
That should help everyone out some. Here's a fun spring recipe you can do it with or without alcohol (I can't believe I gave you that option):
1/4 cup sugar
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1/4 cup limeade concentrate or tequila
1/4 cup fresh orange juice or Triple Sec
4 egg yolks
1 teaspoon grated lime zest
1 cup whipping cream
*3 egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream or tartar
1/4 cup sugar
Custard:In a medium saucepan, combine 1/4 cup of the sugar, the gelatin, and the salt. Stir in the lemon juice, lime juice, limeade (or tequila), and orange juice (or Triple Sec). Stir well. In a medium glass dish, whip the egg yolks until they are light. Stir in the lime zest. Add to the saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until the gelatin is dissolved, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat. Transfer to a plastic container and allow it to come to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate, stirring occasionally until the mixture has begun to gel, about 30 minutes.For the Meringue:With an electric mixer, beat egg whites with cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Gradually beat in the sugar until stiff. Fold in beaten whipped cream.
Remove custard from refrigerator and fold in the meringue. Place the mixture, when finished folding, back into the refrigerator and let chill.
When serving rim your glass with sugar and pour chilled mousse into glass.Big Time,