On Being An Emotional Lycanthrope, Friends and Family, Business, and Chimchar
I appeal to you, oh readers, for patience and understanding.
Should you choose to skip ahead to wit, please skip until the paragraph that starts with the asterisk (*) in front of it.
If you know me (and, odds are if you are reading this you do), you know I am...an emotional sort of cove. I feel no reason to deny this. Some may call it even more extreme, some might even call me a time bomb. I disagree whole-heartedly with them, but I understand where they are coming from. I wear my heart on my sleeve (the history, or lack thereof, of me losing my shirt will be discussed at a later date). I see no reason to hide this nature. I embrace it. I'm sure you feel as I do more often than you might think.
Have you, oh readers, ever woken up one morning feeling cranky? Of course you have. You aren't feeling well. You didn't finish some work or something that needed to be done. You got into a fight. You didn't sleep well. You have low blood sugar. Any number of reasons. You woke up one morning not feeling right.
Establishing that, have you also ever, upon realizing that you are cranky, feel this crankiness evolve into a feral distrust of your friends and family? An animal-like reaction that today is the day that no one comes near me, or they will get what's coming to them. you feel yourself, in your mind, baring your teeth at people who try. And today is the day that you remember all those things that you filed away. All those times your friends said or did something insensitive, or neglectful, or hurtful. However unintentional their hurt may have been, it all comes to the surface. And today is the day that, should they do it again, you are ready to wheel on them, and finally call them "Liar!", or "Fake!"; Deceiver! Selfish! Arrogant! Untalented! Stupid! Demented! Unfunny!....all those things that, at the time, you repressed or filed away as something that shouldn't be said and forgave the person in question.
But not today. Today, like a bounty hunter out of a USA Network Direct-to-TV movie, you have no forgiveness or patience. It is gone. The part of your brain that doles out benefits of a doubt, and is willing to look the other way isn't there. Today there is only the animal inside your mind. Caged by your reason, bated with pointed sticks every time you were hurt. Today it is in control. And you hope your friends don't say the wrong thing. Though the animal inside you does. He relishes confrontation. He wants to say those things. And today, he is in control.....
Never had that, hunh?
Me neither.
I'm just having one of those days.
*My business, newly reformed under the working title of Juniper Food Designs, or JFD, continues slowly. I have filed forms for bankruptcy of my old company, liquidated most of my assets (Is a 5$ garage sale pot an asset? YES! Says the Gov't), and taken that money, along with money donated by several devotees of my last company to begin laying the groundwork of my new one, which right now is mostly forms. More on that to come.
My Chimchar (Gauguin) and I are fucking up Sinnoh like it's our job. While it currently bears a striking resemblance to the Hokkaido prefecture, when I'm done it'll be more like the Sukkaido prefecture! Hi-Yo!
Werewolf4Life,
RM
Should you choose to skip ahead to wit, please skip until the paragraph that starts with the asterisk (*) in front of it.
If you know me (and, odds are if you are reading this you do), you know I am...an emotional sort of cove. I feel no reason to deny this. Some may call it even more extreme, some might even call me a time bomb. I disagree whole-heartedly with them, but I understand where they are coming from. I wear my heart on my sleeve (the history, or lack thereof, of me losing my shirt will be discussed at a later date). I see no reason to hide this nature. I embrace it. I'm sure you feel as I do more often than you might think.
Have you, oh readers, ever woken up one morning feeling cranky? Of course you have. You aren't feeling well. You didn't finish some work or something that needed to be done. You got into a fight. You didn't sleep well. You have low blood sugar. Any number of reasons. You woke up one morning not feeling right.
Establishing that, have you also ever, upon realizing that you are cranky, feel this crankiness evolve into a feral distrust of your friends and family? An animal-like reaction that today is the day that no one comes near me, or they will get what's coming to them. you feel yourself, in your mind, baring your teeth at people who try. And today is the day that you remember all those things that you filed away. All those times your friends said or did something insensitive, or neglectful, or hurtful. However unintentional their hurt may have been, it all comes to the surface. And today is the day that, should they do it again, you are ready to wheel on them, and finally call them "Liar!", or "Fake!"; Deceiver! Selfish! Arrogant! Untalented! Stupid! Demented! Unfunny!....all those things that, at the time, you repressed or filed away as something that shouldn't be said and forgave the person in question.
But not today. Today, like a bounty hunter out of a USA Network Direct-to-TV movie, you have no forgiveness or patience. It is gone. The part of your brain that doles out benefits of a doubt, and is willing to look the other way isn't there. Today there is only the animal inside your mind. Caged by your reason, bated with pointed sticks every time you were hurt. Today it is in control. And you hope your friends don't say the wrong thing. Though the animal inside you does. He relishes confrontation. He wants to say those things. And today, he is in control.....
Never had that, hunh?
Me neither.
I'm just having one of those days.
*My business, newly reformed under the working title of Juniper Food Designs, or JFD, continues slowly. I have filed forms for bankruptcy of my old company, liquidated most of my assets (Is a 5$ garage sale pot an asset? YES! Says the Gov't), and taken that money, along with money donated by several devotees of my last company to begin laying the groundwork of my new one, which right now is mostly forms. More on that to come.
My Chimchar (Gauguin) and I are fucking up Sinnoh like it's our job. While it currently bears a striking resemblance to the Hokkaido prefecture, when I'm done it'll be more like the Sukkaido prefecture! Hi-Yo!
Werewolf4Life,
RM
Get on AIM! It has indeed been too long. Perhaps I ought to just give you a call on the telly. But I miss you like the Dickens.
Muwah,
Monsieur