I have a friend (Travis Fickett) who used to work with me at the now-defunct filmfreaq.com who has since moved on to internet trouble-child ign.com. Every now and then, he sends me some stuff on what he's talking to and about. Right now, he's whoring himself out for information on the new Thor and Justice League movies. One of my personal favorite rumors he proposed was that Shawn Ashmore, formerly known as Bobby Drake (X1-3), and Michael Rosenbaum (Smallville's Lex Luthor) were the two main competitors for the role of The Flash in the upcoming film. Rosenbaum, who voiced the flash in the Justice League Animated Series, seems the favorable choice, though he is being roundly panned by comic book aficianados.
Now, I am not in the pocket of movie production companies (see The Golden Compass Letter), but fan-boys, you have got to fucking stop. I'm serious. There's no fucking pleasing you. And before you say that so and so made you happy, or that you liked such and such a movie, here are some fun facts for you to ingest.
Let's start with Sin City and 300, the twin jewels in the crown of the "hip comic fan". Are they good comics? Certainly. Well written and well drawn. Let's take a look at the reviews.
boxofficemojo.com has a great link to gross numbers for every movie as well as a link to a website that cross-compares critical reviews with reviews from people on the street from some polling service most movie companies use after limited releases and test showings. They also, in the case of specialty movies (i.e. historical/based on a well known show or book/comic) grade fan opinion.
Average Critical Score for Sin City/300: B/B-
Average Consumer Score: C/B-
Average Fan Score: B-/B-

Now, where am I going with this? Those were the BEST averages amongst all comic movies of the past decade, excepting Batman Begins, which we can chalk up as a most welcome mistake. Every other comic book movie had at least TWO of those groups giving the movie a C- or lower. And guess where the average LOWEST grade comes from? That's right. You bastards.

You are the ones ruining your beloved comic book movies.

Here's the problem as I see it (please feel free to rebut). The comic is the most inexpensive epic medium imaginable. 90% of the work can be done by two guys alone in a room (preferably darkened parent's basement). One needs to be able to draw. The other needs to be able to come up with a storyline that is in keeping with 60 years of comic history (all of which he has mylar triple-sealed somewhere), or in inventing a new universe where he can write whatever the fuck he wants. (Gay Colossus? Sabretooth with Adamantium Claws? An Incestuous Relationship between Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch? Sure, we'll just call it ultimate. Make it Earth 2616 or something nutty like that.) That's it. That and publishing costs. See, in Comics, an epic storyline that involves the melting of Earth in a giant fondue pot costs about 25 dollars. In the movie industry, that can't even by a pack of gum for Brett Ratner.

Movies are a business. Art is a business. From the dawn of time. The first moment that a caveman realised he needed to buy more berry juice to smear on his cave walls, it became a business. Does that mean that art has no soul? Hell no. It can and should be a glorious medium bent on evoking the most primal and glorious reactions and responses from the human soul. But to do that in Hollywood, you better have at least 50 million. At least.

And yes, most of the movies clear their production costs. But you have to understand. These are the movies that are supposed to clear the bases. All the lousy romantic comedies that lose 5 million each? This is where they make their money back. And you can't just break even. Not if you ever want to see a movie ever again. They need to make a profit.

Justice League is already shaping up to be the biggest laugh since Entourage's faux-Aquaman or X3. But you comic book fans killed that one. The team that brought you the (according to comic fans) "Mediocre and Mediocre +", scripts of X and X2 were tired of the relentless harrying they were getting from producers. See, if they went all the way to one end of the spectrum ( a Comic fan's wet dream with ideal casting, fx and dialogue), it'd be way to expensive and inefficient. And if they went the other way, they'd still get shit on by the producers for not being marketable enough to comic fans.

See, that's the part none of you realize. They LISTEN to you.

Do you want to know why X-Men: The Last Stand was so bad? Because they put out a poll in several comic magazines and to several "well-known" people in the comic fan-base as to what they'd like to see in the sequels. There was a public outcry to see Jean Grey as Phoenix. Well how the shit are they supposed to do that without dropping another quarter billion on a space movie with Shi'ar and shit? hmm? People wanted to see the coming war between mutants and humans. But there simply wasn't a good one on the books at Marvel. And even if there WAS, guess who gets a producer's credit? Whoever wrote that storyline in the original comics. That was why the whole cure thing was written? Why wasn't Juggernaut magical? Why wasn't his backstory with Xavier identified? That's 30 minutes of movie they didn't have to explain. Why was Pyro introduced as a student? Easiest way to work him into the storyline. Why no Gambit? What, do you want this movie to be five fricking hours? It's not a comic. It's not an animated series. It's a two and a half (at most) movie that is doing the best it can with what it's got in the time it is given. And that's why the Phoenix storyline was butchered. Because they thought you wanted it, but just couldn't give it to you the exact way you wanted it. It got you the iPod you wanted for your birthday, but the fuckers got you one in green. You wanted pink.

The sheer volume of comics will inevitably satisfy you in one way or another if you're a comic book fan. The upcoming Thor movie will be in progress for 24 months before they get a crack at satisfying you. See the disparity?

The movie studios are confident that an okay, easy-enough-to follow script with some fun action and actors will cover their overhead and break even in the box-office. But YOU people are the ones that enable them to make sequels. And DVD sales. And game tie-ins for your XBoxes and your Wees and Your Sony Idon'tknowwhats.

They want to please you. But you need to stop expecting an orgasm every movie. It's just not going to happen.

You need to appreciate that this is a business, and not every movie can be Batman Begins. In fact, The reason Batman is so easy to do is that They only have to deal with two producers, the estate of Bob Kane and DC. And one of them is dead with a son happy to get a check and doesn't care about storylines, and DC is just thrilled to have a movie made again, so they're cheap dates. Do you know how many producers Justice League will require?

9. And that's assuming that Martian Manhunter and Hawkgirl cause no trouble. Nine producers. Figure between them, and the studio, and the director, that those writers, who work so goddamn hard to please you, are going to make anything other than like 8 margaritas and break down crying? Not a chance.

Comics are the best medium for what they do. It's simple, cost-effective, and allows for creative minds to do their thing in an epic universe. It's just not that simple in movies.

So you all need to cut them some fucking slack. They're doing their best. And yes, hopefully Iron Man will be great. And no, the new Hulk Movie probably won't be. But that's the price of putting comics on screen.

Comics are Ma and Pa Kent's Farm.
Movies are Metropolis.

So realize that you aren't in fucking Kansas anymore, this is the big leagues, and take a goddamn pill.

Respectfully,
RM